Monday, November 22, 2010

The Pirate Movie: More movie than ever before!

Last week we watched The Pirate Movie - a classic from the Apologetic Bartender's childhood. Amazingly, Uncle P was willing to watch it again - probably because drinks were involved!

Let's get straight to the good stuff. First, the trailer:

The best parts:

1. Most of the dialog seemed to have to do with sex. Here are a few awesome examples from the dialog:

Mabel: You'll be hung!
The Pirate King: Oh I am, I am, and very well thank you.

Mabel: Frederic, you're not gay, are you?
Frederic: [high voice] No!
[clears throat and in a lower voice]
Frederic: No.
Mabel: The way you and the Pirate King get around in those rather feminine, pleated shirts and all that leather.
Frederic: Mabel!
Mabel: Hey! I'm not prejudiced. I mean, what does this country got a navy for? Screw 'em if they can't take a joke!
Frederic: You're weird.
Mabel: All kidding aside, tell me this. Are you a virgin?
Frederic: I don't know.
Mabel: Near enough.

Mabel: Frederic, these are the 1880s. You can't live your life by the outmoded conventions of a neo-imperialist society. Find your true center!
Frederic: What? You mean Zen piracy?
Mabel: [unlaces her shirt and pulls it down to show her corset] Frederic, have you ever worn a whalebone corset? Well no, we established that, didn't we? It chokes and strangles, Frederic! I won't be choked and strangled by someone else's dumb ideas of custom and duty!
[to stone statue]
Mabel: Would you Harry, would you?
[to Frederic]
Mabel: Never to know the rich and real, wondrous person beating and throbbing inside me. Frederic, can you see me throbbing?
Frederic: I see! I see! I'm throbbing too!

Frederic: Lately I've been restless. I've been consumed by some... inner fire, and all I think about are girls.
Ruth: [Grabbing onto Frederic] I've waited 20 years for this!
The Pirate King: [Pulling Ruth off of Frederic] The sea, Frederic, is a jealous mistress. But she is her own reward. Believe me, you've missed nothing.
The Pirate King: [to other pirates] Tell him men, have you missed anything these 20 years at sea?
Other pirates: [Yelling in unison] SEX!

2. Also, the writers seemed to be obsessed with the Rolling Stones, as is demonstrated by this quote:

Major-General: Man, I'm older than the Beatles, but I'm younger than the Rolling Stones!

Hmmm, perhaps this movie was secretly financed by Keith Richards???? Maybe this was an early indication of his strong desire to play a pirate, which he was finally able to realize in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.

3. As in every good 80s music, there are some amazing songs with great dance scenes.

I wonder wonder what their definition of "Happy Ending" was...

4. And of course, it wouldn't be an 80s musical without the animated scene:

Pretty awesome loin-cloth, no?

--> A side note: Yesterday morning the Cougar Magnet woke up with a medley of tunes from 80s movies stuck in his head. I was serenaded with Pumpin' and Blowin' followed by Magic from Xanadu.

5. After watching the movie, we decided to look up the Wikipedia entry. One of the best part was in the plot description, which said "Kristy McNichol plays Mabel Stanley, an introverted girl yearning for popularity in a seaside community in Australia." AUSTRALIA????? At no time during the movie did we realize it was suppose to take place in Australia.

Drink Recipe: The Jolly Dick Richard

1 shots vodka
Some fresh coconut juice with fresh coconut shavings
Fresh lime juice (yes, we really did put the lime in the coconut...)
a splash of ginger ale


  1. To clarify, the "pumping" and "blowing" refers to how the underwater suit worked. The person "pumping" is on top, and above the water, and they pump air into a hose that goes to the person below. The person below, then can "blow" or breath the air that is pumped. In this video, they show a woman pumping, and a man blowing, but it really doesn't matter what the gender is for the pumper and blower.

  2. I disagree. Pumping and Blowing is actually about a downhill relationship that became all about sex.

    "Don't you know you have to swallow something more's your pride"...."I'm done I've had enough....pumpin and blowin'!

    The song had NOTHING to do with the scene in the movie. The visuals were there to throw you off from the context of the song.

    Still...I loved this movie. I still have it. All my kids love watching it. It's a fun movie with EXCELLENT music. yes there are a few adult themed spots here and there. But the kids don't recognize it.